"Ding, ding "... Final

So back to now, 11th grade, I’ve tried all this time to let go, but in my heart I still have all the memories, all the things we shared. They don’t go away; they are a ghost that haunts my life. I know his kind now, I know by experience, that he is not to be trusted, but why does my heart still have hope?



Valentines is just around the corner, he was my only valentine, sadly. I guess this year won’t be that much different from all the others, alone. I’m starting to feel comfortable with being alone. It’s not so bad, nobody that hurt you, lie to you, disappoint you. The bell rings the day is done, another boring day with a boring ending. Driving home I stop by the park. The park was a place where we would hang out, tell each other our dreams our goals, and how we would accomplish all of them together. Tears stream down my face as I go to the swing where he would push me and tell me he loved me. I start swinging, pushing by myself this time. I start to tremble, shaking, I grab hold of the metal chains, the coldness of it tingles throughout my body. The tears rolling down start to burn my cheeks and I look up. The sky is gray and it begins to rain, like if it’s crying for me. The wind picks up and my hair is blowing everywhere as I just swing higher and higher, until I can’t anymore. I slowly come to a rest and someone puts their arms around me and says, “I’m so sorry….I still love you with all my heart…. Please PLEASE believe me!!!!”I turn around ready, hitting his chest with my tiny fists and he just holds me, until my head falls on his chest, both of us crying our heart beating as one. My mind says, “STOP!!! What are you doing? He will just hurt you again.” My heart says, “YES! I missed this, I missed you.” An inner turmoil arises inside my being one that I cannot handle so I get out of his embrace and run. I run as fast as I can to my car, and DRIVE.


I can’t help but run. It is what I do when things get hard and complicated. I ask God, “WHY?!?!?!” I get my answer, people make mistakes, it is how they fix them that show who they truly are. I smile up at God and say okay. It is time to let go of all the anger and regret, accepting what has happened and moving from there. Second chances are special and I think I will give him one. Shame on him he fooled me once and well I guess shame on me if he fools me twice. After all the betrayal and deceit, I still love him and I don’t want to hide it anymore.