Scenery: Girl in a cafe, writing a letter.
The mood: Excited with love.
Hi. I just wanted to tell you something. It might repel you, but it’s something that has been keeping me awake. I look at you for the longest time every time I spot you, and I’m starting to wonder of I’m even sane anymore. I wonder if you think of me as much as I think about you. Probably not, but I feel the need to tell you that you are taking over my brain.
I’ve seen you sad, I’ve seen you overjoyed, I’ve seen you bored, and I love it—I love seeing you and spending time with you. I guess what I’m trying to say is: I love you. I love the fact that you’re sweet, captain of the football team, that you want to help everyone, I love your smile!
Forgive me for this intrusion, but seeing as I can’t stop thinking about you, I’m letting you know… I love you.
Wednesday, June 14th
Scenery: Girl alone at the football field bleachers.
The mood: …disappointment.
Hi. All I wanted to say was… I’m just really sad. And may I say, incredibly disappointed. You’ve broken my heart and thrown it in the dirt. Maybe you care, but you probably don’t know it yet. All that’s left to do right now is cry, I guess? Will I cry? Maybe a tear will escape sometime during the day. I won’t be able to help it, of course. I can’t just not cry.
I confided in you. You were my best friend, but now—what am I? The awkward “Hi” you mutter everyday. The text message you reply with one word. The small shadow you walk by everyday.
What’s left? Deep desires to be able to talk you again. Awkward hand waves. Weak smiles. How did it end? One small smile, you didn’t small back. I texted you about your day, you replied with a “good.” With a period. Ended with a period. Translated, it means I screwed up somewhere.
I don’t understand, but that’s life, I guess. It’s how my life was made. Sometimes you can trust someone, and then a few weeks later, they will have moved on. What’s sad is that I still don’t know what I did—all those people who tossed me aside don’t even think twice about explaining. But that’s life, right? “Move on,” is what it’s all about.
-Jessica Sandoval
the last entry has happened to me... it utterly devestated me... but eventually you pick urself up and rise above. Jessica is this true cuz if it is.. you can always come to me for any sort of advice or just someone that will listen. You are my other soul sister and i love you. and can always trust and confide in me
ReplyDeletehey yeah, dear...i would comment more..but.
ReplyDeleteif you need someone to talk too as well, you can always go to meeh too =]
haha, you, sybil, and I maybe need a day to talk ;D
cuz we're no strangers to this, trust us.
&if it IS true, if you don;t feel like talking to anyone or adon't wana say anything..just tell us to pray for you&we'll be more than happy too :D
but anywho, yes remember that, if you ever needa talk...=]
wow this is so true like everything you said!! your super good a writing about this! keep it going girl!
ReplyDeletebut the last couple of paragraphs are so true!! its like uuuhhhh what do you say after all that happened??
good job girlie
Karen Says: OH MY GOD!!
ReplyDeleteThis was amazing, Jessica Dear.
I was like: "This is so Jessica's writing."
And it was. I was right. It is amazing. Simply enlightening. I LOVE IT.
And I love you too.
<3